Teaching/Parenting crossovers

I've been an educator for most of my adult life, but have only been a parent for about two years. And yet, there are already some interesting crossover lessons I've been reflecting on concerning classroom management and intentional language.

I've always run my classroom management on the dual ideas of "be firm an consistent" and "purposefully front-load to avoid the need to dole out the firm and consistent logical consequences." (Front-loading in my classrooms looks like creating classroom rules together, developing safe and secure student relationships, and making learning as engaging and individualized as possible to list the basics.) What's interesting to me now, as a parent of a toddler, is how much raising one child is similar to teaching an entire classroom full of children. Both work best in a positive environment based on developmentally appropriate benchmarks that cater to individual interest. Obviously, my toddler and I are not creating house rules together, but you can bet good money that once that activity is age appropriate we certainly will be! But the underlying concept of thoughtful front-loading is foundational. Good parenting looks exhausting at the beginning, but pays off in almost exactly the same way that good teaching can feel intense in the fall, but make it a breeze by spring!

As for intentional language, it's already been in my practice for years to give as many directions as possible in the positive form (i.e. "Walk safely," rather than "Don't run!") That is even more necessary for the younger children. I've been amazed how many times a day I catch myself saying no, not, or don't and having to fix my language to better support my toddler. By the way, some references for this are here: Responsive Classroom Article and Montessori Article.  I'm grateful for some new resources that have guided me into adding even more intentionality and  specificity into my language. My favorite takeaway with this concept is that all of your language reflects your values and aims. Rather than saying, "Be careful," I now say something like, "Notice where your body is in space. What could happen?" Certainly, sometimes I say "Stop," or "Danger." But when we're not on the boundary of an emergency, I am crafting as much of my language as possible to allow my child to build the skills he will need. I hope for him to focus on positive actions to move him forward in life. I want him to notice his body, his surroundings, and the emotions/needs of the people around him. I aim for him to be thoughtful and answer questions for himself. I desire for him to have the sense of agency and competency to choose his actions. 

I would love to hear from other teacher/parents to hear what other crossovers you've found! What crossovers hit at older ages? How has becoming a parent strengthened your teaching practice?
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